Responding to Simple, Brutal Fear
My 4-year old daughter learned how to do a cart wheel by watching YouTube videos over and over again and practicing over and over again. She failed multiple times that day but no one mocked her. No one laughed and pointed at her and called her foolish for trying. By the end of the day, one day, she could do something resembling a cart wheel. By the third day she was a champ at it. Now people are impressed when, upon our request, she does a hand stand (often in the middle of a dance floor, a crowded foyer, or a restaurant).
She did THE ONE THING.
If your friends laugh at you when you try to learn something new, get new friends. No, really, get new friends. Fear rises its ugly head easily enough, no need for our friends to be mimicking what fear is always telling us.
What are you afraid to try? What is THE ONE THING (no matter how small or seemingly insignificant) that you want to do but still have not started on it yet? Just choose one, single thing. Say it. Write it down. Make the phone call that starts the process. Do it right now.
Maybe it is not a phone call. It might just be getting on-line and becoming an expert on surgical processes during the Civil War or how to make a profit raising and selling turtles. It may be having coffee with a friend and asking for an hour or two every other week in order to learn a new skill. It may cost, it may not. The sure thing is that if you do not take a single step past your fear, you will consistently pay as your dreams die (yes, small dreams are important and so often lead to us opening up to the really big dreams we have).
Still haven’t taken that step? Is fear sitting on your shoulder telling you how foolish you will look WHEN things go bad?
What does it look like in 10-years if you fail at THIS ONE THING? Today, right now, you pick up the phone and pay for 10-weeks of tango lessons at the local dance studio. You do ten weeks of tango lesson and are awful at it—who cares in ten years? No one.
What does it look like in 10-weeks if you fail at THIS ONE THING? You are 10x’s better at tango then you were when you started? You know you hate tango? You know you love tango? You are an incredible dancer and meet the love of your life on the dance floor?
What does it look like in 10-days if you fail at THIS ONE THING? You show up, take a lesson, and hate it (or break a leg). You cannot believe you ever wanted to take a dance lesson. You FAIL at THIS ONE THING. Nobody cares. You have a story to tell. You are out some money (and probably get a refund). You can cross this off your list of things you want to do and move on to enjoying THE NEXT ONE THING.
When you confront fear and move forward you win even in losing. You win because you have a failure under your belt, which means you are closer to another win.
Our little girl also wanted to ride a horse but when it came to it was terrified. The One Thing she had to do? Simple sit on the horse. She did One Thing and has loved riding horses ever since.
Do THE ONE THING.
