Out of my mouth comes, “I don’t know how to lose weight!” assuming I’d get some sympathy. My friend quickly, too quickly, replied, “Yes you do! You know exactly how to lose weight.” Ouch!

And he is right. I do know what it takes and I simply do not do it. I want something else besides eating right to melt the pounds away (me and millions of others, so I’m no alone).

I think YES YOU DO! is a great answer because it cuts through all the lies I like to tell myself, mows down the excuses, and throws a hand grenade on top of my pile of you know what. This former friend (Ha! We really don’t like honesty, do we?) did me a favor by stopping me, by not agreeing with me, and with directing me to the truth—YES YOU DO know how to lose weight.

This approach is a great response to those who say…
“I don’t know how to save money.” YES YOU DO.
“I don’t know what to do with my spouse.” YES YOU DO.
“I don’t know what to do with my time.” YES YOU DO.
“I don’t know what to do.” YES YOU DO.

You, like me, are simply unwilling or unable to do what it takes to make the change. Here is where God comes in and we ask Him to do what we are unable to do. Lose the weight? Save the money? No, God won’t do those things for you but He will heal the broken parts in you that keep you from being able to be the person you want to be.

He has done that for me. He is doing that for me. He will do that for me. He will do it for you, too. Just ask.

My 4-year old daughter learned how to do a cart wheel by watching YouTube videos over and over again and practicing over and over again.  She failed multiple times that day but no one mocked her.  No one laughed and pointed at her and called her foolish for trying.  By the end of the day, one day, she could do something resembling a cart wheel.  By the third day she was a champ at it.  Now people are impressed when, upon our request, she does a hand stand (often in the middle of a dance floor, a crowded foyer, or a restaurant). 

She did THE ONE THING.

If your friends laugh at you when you try to learn something new, get new friends.  No, really, get new friends.  Fear rises its ugly head easily enough, no need for our friends to be mimicking what fear is always telling us.  

 What are you afraid to try?  What is THE ONE THING (no matter how small or seemingly insignificant) that you want to do but still have not started on it yet?  Just choose one, single thing.  Say it.  Write it down.  Make the phone call that starts the process.  Do it right now. 

Maybe it is not a phone call.  It might just be getting on-line and becoming an expert on surgical processes during the Civil War or how to make a profit raising and selling turtles.  It may be having coffee with a friend and asking for an hour or two every other week in order to learn a new skill.  It may cost, it may not.  The sure thing is that if you do not take a single step past your fear, you will consistently pay as your dreams die (yes, small dreams are important and so often lead to us opening up to the really big dreams we have).

Still haven’t taken that step?  Is fear sitting on your shoulder telling you how foolish you will look WHEN things go bad? 

What does it look like in 10-years if you fail at THIS ONE THING?  Today, right now, you pick up the phone and pay for 10-weeks of tango lessons at the local dance studio.  You do ten weeks of tango lesson and are awful at it—who cares in ten years?  No one. 

What does it look like in 10-weeks if you fail at THIS ONE THING?  You are 10x’s better at tango then you were when you started?  You know you hate tango?  You know you love tango?  You are an incredible dancer and meet the love of your life on the dance floor?

What does it look like in 10-days if you fail at THIS ONE THING?  You show up, take a lesson, and hate it (or break a leg).  You cannot believe you ever wanted to take a dance lesson.  You FAIL at THIS ONE THING.  Nobody cares.  You have a story to tell.  You are out some money (and probably get a refund).  You can cross this off your list of things you want to do and move on to enjoying THE NEXT ONE THING.

When you confront fear and move forward you win even in losing.  You win because you have a failure under your belt, which means you are closer to another win. 

Our little girl also wanted to ride a horse but when it came to it was terrified.  The One Thing she had to do?  Simple sit on the horse.  She did One Thing and has loved riding horses ever since.

Do THE ONE THING.

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We love to imitate others.  Karaoke proves it, as does the air guitar and Rock Band.

We love to imitate, repeat after me, political commentators; much easier than taking the longer road and formulating our thoughts and responses based on our deeper values and guiding codes.

We love to imitate those ‘above’ us in business.  We buy the cars they have, live in similar homes/neighborhoods, vacation in the same spots, and wear the same costumes (like the costume gives us an added boost of super powers, which maybe it does).

We love to imitate those that lead our religious groups.  This is extremely obvious, as well as a bit embarrassing, when someone who cusses like sailor (no offense to sailors, as I am not sure they really cuss more than, say, a banker) imitates what their perception of a good religious person is when around a priest, a rabbi, or a minister.

We love to imitate by being a part of the group that uses the ‘right’ items.  We love wearing a certain brand of shoes, using a certain electronic device, drinking a brand cup of coffee, and watching the ‘in’ TV shows.

We love to imitate by thinking like a part of a group.  The herd mentality of said group keeps us safe and clear of having to do any of the heavy lifting it takes to have thoughts and the corresponding actions of our real political, spiritual, social, relational, and financial core values.

In some areas we must imitate.  We know that financial success almost always comes with slow and steady, not winning the lotto.  To not imitate those who have gone before us, in some fashion, is not wise.   We know that to lose weight diets do not work so we must imitate those following a sensible diet, healthy lifestyle, exercise, and lower, powerfully packed calories.

No one cares about an artist who imitates Picasso.  His is not art, simply knockoffs.  No one cares who sounds like the Beatles in 2011.  The Beatles are the Beatles and no one else should try to sound like them.

What would happen if you quit imitating in just one area?

(Please, keep showering, mowing your yard, and stopping at red lights—you know what I mean).

Who are you imitating at work and it is killing you?

Who are you imitating in your religious setting and it is driving you crazy?

What cultures are you imitating that are boxing you in and keeping you from growing up and out?

Whose thoughts are you imitating that are keeping you stuck?

Go ahead and insist on being yourself.  I dare you.

Jesus was not a nice man. He was KIND. In all that He did, He showed KINDNESS.

I forgot to mention that Jesus also called a group of ministers a brood of vipers, told a woman begging for her daughter’s life that He does not help dogs, and asked His disciples “How long do I have to put up with you?”

Jesus was not nice and is not nice. Say that out loud several times. Difficult isn’t it? We are so accustomed to thinking about Jesus as this really white toast, syrupy, nice guy. That is the wrong image.

Jesus was kind. There is a huge difference between nice and kind. Nice is the word you use when it is so bland you can find no other word for it.

Kind is a different story. In scripture kind means benevolence with action and to do what is suitable and/or fitting to a need. Nice as we use it is not even found in scripture.

A Nice Jesus would have never died, only felt sorry that we were dead in our sins. A Kind Jesus was moved by deep compassion and went to the cross for us.

Stop being so nice!